Faced with an adverse sex ratio, youths from India’s northern State of Haryana are beating the distance, culture, language and the caste divide, all the way to Kerala, in search of Malayalee brides.

More than 100 dames from Payyannur town and nearby villages, some 340 km from the port city of Kochi, have been given in marriage to boys from Hansi in Hissar district.

Nicknamed Haryana ‘kalyanam’ (marriage), the latest one took place this morning in the northern Parassinikadavu, famed for Kerala folk art of theyyam and temple offerings of fish and liquor.

Ajith Singh, 33, a baker, married Omana, 31, a nursery teacher. Last Thursday, Ajith Singh’s friend, Jagbir Singh, 28, an electrician, married Kamala, 27, a Hindi graduate.

Marriages have been confined to Jat youths from Hissar and mostly backward Thiyya girls here. But locals said a few girls from the intermediary Nair caste also had opted for Haryanvis.

Given elaborate preparations that attend Indian marriages, Haryana kalyanam is a simple affair, from match-making to wedding. The go-between, as in the latest two cases, is invariably a local woman, already married to a Haryanvi.

A few weeks ago, Sreeja, married to Bheerbel Singh, arranged for photos to be exchanged between prospective candidates. Since there hasn’t been any major objection from either side, the groom in waiting traveled along with Sreeja and husband to Payynnur.

One quick visit to the girl’s house and it’s all over. No talking since bride doesn’t speak or understand Hindi. The match-maker plays the interlocutor. Wedding takes place at the local temple, followed by a modest feast for the bride’s closest relations. And the couple is off to Nizamuddin by Mangala Express train.

Sreeja, who arranged both marriages, says: “Travel expenses are taken care of. Besides, they give me some monetary incentive for my efforts”.

But why Kerala girls opt for Haryanvi youths, absolute strangers, almost from a different world.

“My father, Narayanan, has not been working for a long time, afflicted by partial blindness. Mother had no work. Elder brother married and left the family. Elder sister was already married off. I’d two younger sisters.

Future was bleak for the three of us. Parents didn’t have funds to marry us off. That’s when I fell for the Haryanvi groom”, said Sreeja.

It’s a marriage of conveniences. Haryanvi youths, agriculturists and less schooled, do not find brides in their home state because of fewer women.

Haryana, with a terrible profile of female foeticide, has a sex ratio of 800 females per 1,000 males. Kerala has 1,056 females per 1,000 males.

Sreeja’s husband Bheerbel Singh says: “Kerala girls are better educated, have clean habits, take care of children better and above all, they ensure a stable family life unlike many of those from north Indian States, who sometimes leave, without any notice”.

Says Jagbir Singh: “I’ve heard Kerala girls are devout and loyal”. Social commentator C K Viswanathan, who had travelled to Hissar, says: “The culture shock is enormous. Kerala girls have been married into an absolutely patriarchal society. Can’t girls find suitable alliances here? Isn’t it a comment on our so-called progressive State, that a woman can’t remain single, has to marry against all odds?”

Article:
http://topics4all.blogspot.com/2007/06/haryanvi-youth-come-knocking-for-kerala.html

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