Life Styles

Kerala Christian Marriage

ArtKerala — Sat, 04 Aug 2007 15:47:14 -0500

Kerala Christian wedding usually, conducted in a Church is a simple ceremony involving the exchange of wedding bands and marriage vows by the bridal couple. A Christian bride traditionally wears a white gown, with the face covered in a white veil, clutching on to a bunch of white flowers, while the groom is dressed in a conservative suit.

Except for some variation in basic customs, Christians of kerala has wholeheartedly assimilated themselves into the fabric of Kerala society. But, still, some differences persist in the wedding rituals and they are worth exploring. Like in other religions, here too the parents select prospective partners. After extensive background checks, including financial and social standing, and several meetings later, between the parents of bride and groom, the actual players get to encounter each other.

Once things are endorsed, they have to notify their individual churches to procure sanction. Once the sanction is granted, they have to undergo a marriage preparation course conducted by the church. After that, at a day of their convenience (except on Fridays), they have to present themselves before the church officer for "manasammatham" (engagement), accompanied by friends and relatives. A prayer will be held before engagement ceremony and afterwards the vicar gives the blessing. Rings can be swapped after this, but it is not there in the general itinerary. Two male persons from both the parties have to stand witness for this ceremony. This will be recorded in the church register.

After this for the next 3 successive Sundays, while the church is in congregation, this engagement will be announced. This is to inform others and to give them a chance to file objection, if they have any. Alternatively this information will be displayed at the church notice board. If some objections are noticed, church will conduct an inquiry regarding this and proper actions would be taken. There is no bar on breaking the engagement. The parents of the bride and groom, after mutual consultations, fix a date for the marriage. Normally the wedding is held at the diocese of the groom.

On the appointed day, both the bride and groom, along with their relatives and friends, will reach the marriage place before the appointed time. At the given time, both the groom and bride will enter the church, escorted by relatives and friends, and proceed towards the altar. Some of the customs of traditional kerala wedding, "thalikettu" - the process of tying the sacred thread around bride's neck, giving "mantrakodi"- the wedding sari, are incorporated into the Christian wedding.

The wedding rituals are conducted along with the holy mass. The priest commences the procession of reading psalms from the Holy Bible. He then renders a sermon called Homily, which dwells on the sacredness of the wedlock and emphasizes on the sanctity of marriage. After the Homily, the bride and the groom hold each other's right hand and make the solemn promise of lifelong loyalty. This is followed by Blessing and the exchange of the wedding rings. The priest then pronounces them man & wife, with the couple kissing each other.

After the church wedding is over, the couples walk down the aisle, with the guests throwing confetti at them. A large, lively reception awaits the newly-weds and the guests and pre-chosen venue.

Kerala Muslim Wedding or Nikah

ArtKerala — Sat, 04 Aug 2007 15:39:17 -0500

Kerala Muslim Wedding, or Nikah, as it is commonly known, can be held anytime, as there are no beliefs about auspicious timings in Islam. The Nikah is conducted by a Maulvi (priest). The Maulvi reads selected verses from the Quran and the Nikaah is complete after the Ijab-e-Qubul (proposal and acceptance).

Islam does not stipulate any religious ceremony for marriage as such. Consequently, local flavor has found their way in to marriage ceremonies. Like other communities in kerala, the elders occupy the center stage and decide the future of their issue. Rather than the compatibility factor, the financial and social standings get prominence.

Once the initial discussions between two families are over, girl and boy get to meet each other. If they like each other, a particular day is fixed for the conduct of the initial process, "valayidal"- the custom of giving gold ornaments to the girl. The date for the function of engagement is arrived at through mutual consultations. On this day, some male members of the bride's family will go to the groom's house, and after reciting some parts of Koran (usually the first chapter); the boy will be given some gold ornaments or cash. At some places dowry is passed. This betrothal is a contract, not bound by any law or religious custom, and can be broken, if one wishes so.

On the preceding day of the marriage, sister of the groom and some female relatives proceed to the bride's house to take part in "mailanchi"(or mehendi)- a practice of applying henna on the girl's hand as part of beautifying her. On the marriage day, the groom and his entourage will reach the place of marriage (it can be held at any place. Usually it is held at marriage halls and some use the option of marrying at mosques) at the appointed time. Brother of the girl receives him there and a bouquet and garland is offered to the groom.

Then the groom is led to the place where "nikkah"- the marriage contract- will take place. After reciting some portions from the holy Koran, by the mullah, the groom and the father of the bride are made to express the oath of acceptance. Bride's father makes the statement to the effect that he marries away the girl to the prospective husband according to the Islamic way. The bridegroom then declares his acceptance of that commitment and that he has married the woman according to the terms specified. After this the groom is led to the women's section (men and women are segregated at all the functions). Here he will tie a gold chain around the neck of the bride, assisted by his sister. After the wedding there is a big reception, given by the bride's parents to guests from both sides. After the reception bride is taken to the groom's house and later they will proceed towards the bride's house.

Post wedding, the groom's family throws a grand reception in the honor of the bride, which is known as Dawat-e- walima.

Like the Muslims else where, a Muslim marriage in Kerala is a simple contract between the boy and the girl's father. The presence of the girl is not essential for the marriage. The "nikkah" - the ritual of contract - needs to be made in the presence of two male witnesses and the services of the mullah (musaliar in local language), is needed for observing some of the Islamic guidelines. The groom needs to give a mehr (dower) to the girl's father while accepting his daughter as his wife.

Also, on the day of the wedding, two families decide the amount of Mehar that is a compulsory amount of money given by the groom's family to the bride.

Then comes a lavish dinner, after which the couple sit together for the first time. Their heads are covered by a dupatta while they read prayers under the direction of the maulvi (priest). The Quran is placed between the couple and they are allowed to see each only through mirrors.

Lust not love drives sexual impulses: survey

ArtKerala — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 15:07:47 -0500

After exhaustively compiling a list of the 237 reasons why people have sex, researchers found that young men and women get intimate for mostly the same motivations.

It is more about lust in the body than a love connection in the heart. US college-aged men and women agree on their top reasons for having sex they were attracted to the person, they wanted to experience physical pleasure and "it feels good," according to a peer-reviewed study in the August edition of Archives of Sexual Behaviour.

Twenty of the top 25 reasons given for having sex were the same for men and women. Expressing love and showing affection were in the top 10 for both men and women, but they did take a back seat to the clear No. 1: "I was attracted to the person."

Researchers at the University of Texas spent five years and their own money to study the overlooked "why" behind sex while others were spending their time on the "how." The survey has refuted a lot of gender stereotypes ... that men only want sex for the physical pleasure and women want love - Cindy Meston, clinical psychology professor, University of Texas
"It's refuted a lot of gender stereotypes ... that men only want sex for the physical pleasure and women want love," said University of Texas clinical psychology professor Cindy Meston, the study's co-author. "That's not what I came up with in my findings."

"The more we look, the more we find similarity," said Dr Irwin Goldstein, director of sexual medicine at Alvarado Hospital in San Diego.

Goldstein, who was not part of Meston's study, said the Texas research made a lot of sense and adds to growing evidence that the vaunted differences in the genders may only be among people with sexual problems.

Meston and colleague David Buss first questioned 444 men and women ranging in age from 17 to 52 to come up with a list of 237 distinct reasons people have sex.

They ranged from "It's fun" which men ranked fourth and women ranked eighth to "I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease" which ranked on the bottom by women

Bangalore losing its charming weather

ArtKerala — Sun, 22 Jul 2007 01:58:44 -0500

There is nothing heart warming about the cold facts of global warming. Bangalore will soon become Delhi. No, we aren't talking about a shift in Capital. We are talking about the once pleasant climate of the IT city, which is fast becoming like that of Delhi's.

Project Agastya Co-Founder and Chairman P K Shanbhag says, "If you see in the last 10 years Bangalore temperatures have gone up by 1.5 per cent. If it continues then may be in another 4/5 decades it will be like Bihar or Kanpur temperature."

No, that's not being alarmist or even clairvoyant. It's a reality that most Bangaloreans will have to face, and soon at that. Building insensibly has contributed to the heat island effect in what was once the garden city of India.

Professor Ravindranath who is part of the committee on Inter Governmental Panel for climate change is a worried man today. The IPCC was set up to study the impact of human-induced climate change on India and identify measures to mitigate the impact.

Centre for Sustainable Technologies Professor N H Ravindranath says, “The critical thing we need to look at is mitigation. Mitigation in the sense how to reduce the emission of green house gases from human activities so that we can stabilise the concentration of green house gasses in the atmosphere. Within India, there will be a warming of anywhere between 2.5-3.5 degrees in the next 50-70 years.”

So what's the way forward then?

"What all these buildings, whether a shopping mall, a multi storey complex for software or any industry, they really have to adopt energy efficient building technology. That is something that is missing. The municipality/government should really insist on many of the new technologies available for conserving energy in buildings," Ravindranath says.

It's no longer a doomsday prophecy. It's clear and present danger. The effect of climate change is very visible and will only get worse with time. What is needed at the moment is for governments to adopt the recommendations of scientific committees like the IPCC in mitigating climate change

Marriage of a girl

smitha — Sun, 27 May 2007 00:18:39 -0500

A woman should take decision in her marriage matter.That should not be left to any one else.
The second matter would be how the the spouce should be
A common man is more fit in the role of husband when compared to a rich
so be careful in selecting your husband
It is a life long contract
An instant can break it

How do people reserve forests in foreign countries by buying them

smitha — Wed, 23 May 2007 02:03:14 -0500

Yes. When you purchase a Forest Reserve homesite, you are purchasing both the land and the trees that are growing on it. You can choose to manage your forest as an investment, continue to let it grow in it's present state for recreational purposes or use it for both.

Why is there an Owners Association and what are the annual dues?

Each of our Forest Reserve communities has an owners association that exists to help protect the investments of property owners. Besides maintaining the upkeep of the primary roads, electronic entry gates and community areas within each community, they also enforce the protective covenants for each community along with providing insurance for liability of all roads, community areas and trails. Property Owners dues differ for each community based on the length of roads and trails to maintain along with the size of community areas, but for 2006 the annual dues for the Nisqually River Forest Reserve will be $851 and the Silver Lake Forest Reserve is still being determined.

Increasing number of divorces

smitha — Tue, 22 May 2007 03:38:17 -0500

People are not ready to compramise in their marriages

Is it good? I don't think.We must compramise for the security
of family life marriage is conducted, not in heaven, but in the minds of two people.

first of all we live for our self,then for the society.
good children are the product of good family life

Kerala villages to find their own space in cyber world

ArtKerala — Sun, 13 May 2007 09:03:05 -0500

People of Kannur district in northern Kerala will soon be able to access a range of information - the sale of a cow, job vacancies or even finding brides and grooms - not just at the click of a mouse but even through a phone call. Akshaya, a statewide ICT project by the Kerala government, has just made operational an innovative initiative for the creation of community portals in the local language, Malayalam.

"Its primary objective is to create content in local language using free and open software at the various local bodies in Kannur district and for the local communities," UNESCO, which supports the project, announced here on its UNESCO.org site.

Initially, the project will develop community portals for the district panchayat (village council), one municipality and nine village panchayats from Kannur district.

Kannur is a city, municipality and district. Kannur city is the fourth largest urban agglomeration in Kerala with a population of 498,175. It is popularly known as the city of looms and lores. It is known for its famed performing art of Theyyam and its beautiful beaches.

The portals will cover the entire gamut, including history of the community, places of interest, different services and schemes offered by the local self-government, information on agriculture, business ventures et all, interactive forums and e-newsletters providing information on new technological trends and innovations.

Content will be produced on an ongoing basis by community reporters appointed in each of the chosen panchayats under Akshaya entrepreneurs and facilitated by the Akshaya district office in Kannur.

To address the issue of sustainability, the portals would aim at attracting local advertisements, web-based yellow pages and e-business at the local level.

Besides, an information-over-a-phone call model is envisioned where community members could also call an Akshaya centre to get information.

An Akshaya entrepreneur was quoted saying he is confident that the community will make best use of these services because "community members already approach the (Akshaya) centre without any hesitation for their needs".

Ethnographic Action Research (EAR) methodology is being used to understand issues and information needs of the target communities.

Akshaya Director T.K. Manzoor has said the project is being implemented with the objective of providing greater amount of information to the citizens using new tools of information technology. The pilot project in Kannur would be extended to the rest of the state if found successful.

Planning for a better city

sureshkumar — Tue, 08 May 2007 09:25:15 -0500

Are we living in a city full of pollution, concrete and garbage? Can we safe guard our water bodies? Is it so difficult to build avenues with safe sidewalks?

These were some of the queries, which the proponents of the ‘Vision Kochi’ plan tried to answer at the presentation of the plan before the public. Indian Institute of Architects (IIA) Kochi Centre presented Kaloor the plan on Friday during the exhibition “Design Impex” at Jawaharlal Nehru International Stadium.